I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
