Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's blow job season.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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