fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
