i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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