Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
