I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
