in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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