Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
