Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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