i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
