I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
