u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she looked like the before picture.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
