Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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