She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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