this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
