she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
