SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
