You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
