basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
