'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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