You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
