so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize