i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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