so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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