You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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