It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize