If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
