I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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