I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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