forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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