Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
