I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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