Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I bet he comes in French.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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