Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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