areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
