That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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