I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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