HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
