I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize