I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
