My room smells like vodka and shame
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
