yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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