what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
