she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i will never coherently bang her
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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