Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My vagina is officially offended.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
