i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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