do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
