last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize