Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize