I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
