I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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