The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
