Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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