Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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