I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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