its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
