I just saw a hot homeless man
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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