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It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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