you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
