News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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