Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
