Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
