Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so let's talk penis.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
