Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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