Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
