her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
