we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
