Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
