If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize