we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize