Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize