Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize