his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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