just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
