so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
