Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
so much tequila, so little girl.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
