FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Houston, we have a blender
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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