what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
