We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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