Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize