so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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