In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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